


007 "autistic"

by wheel_pen



Series: Iron Man AU [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fish out of Water, My Pepper is different, Pre-Iron Man, Tony is not PC, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 20:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheel_pen/pseuds/wheel_pen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone suggests to Tony that Pepper might be autistic, leading to a momentary moral crisis when Tony worries he can't make fun of her anymore for her "frickin' weirdness." Although she never gives him a straight answer, Pepper seems to indicate this isn't true. "I do have special needs, Pepper, and I don't see you doing anything to alleviate them!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	007 "autistic"

**Author's Note:**

> 1) My Pepper is very different from canon Pepper. Her personality/origin is very different; to separate her from canon Pepper I've given her a new last name and a different hair color.
> 
> 2) The bad words are censored. That's just how I do things.
> 
> 3) Stories are numbered in the order I wrote them, which isn't necessarily the order in which they occur. At some point I'll post a timeline.
> 
> I wrote this series after the first Iron Man movie came out. It's very AU but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. I own nothing and appreciate the chance to play with these characters.

            So I did a five-minute interview with this business reporter for a news show on MSNBC once (well, lots of times actually, but this was once in particular). It went well—I _could_ control myself for five or ten minutes at a time, you know—and when it was over and the cameras were off the guy shook my hand and thanked me, and then he said, "Also, Tony, I wanted to mention how much I admire you for hiring people with special needs in your company."

            I got a little freaked when people said they 'admired' me, because trust me I was not an admirable guy, and anyway, it wasn't like the particular hiring initiative he was referring to was _my_ idea. Unless you counted me saying, "He's the best up-and-coming electronics expert in the country. I don't care if you have to lower the tables and widen the doorways for his wheelchair, just hire him, d----t!"

            But I tried to be appropriately graceful and modest with the compliment—an ill-fitting suit, to say the least. "Well, you know, if they can get the job done…"

            The man nodded. "I have an interest in this topic because my brother's autistic—high-functioning, but he has trouble getting and keeping jobs because other people find it difficult to adjust to his… quirks." I nodded like I cared, or had any idea what he was talking about. Where was Pepper? Wasn't it time to get out of here? "But people with autism can be very good at their jobs, provided others are willing to show some tolerance and patience. Well, of course you know that."

            "I do?" I asked, confused. 'Tolerance' and 'patience' weren't exactly at the top of my list of character traits.

            "Yeah, your assistant, Pepper Smith," he prompted me. "She's had a high-level position for years now, and has been very successful—"

            "Wait, are you saying Pepper's _autistic_?" I interrupted, surprised. This was news to _me_.

            The journalist started to look a bit uncertain. "Well, I just heard—I didn't mean to intrude, it's just an impressive achievement and—"

            "No, no, it would explain a h—l of a lot," I assured him, looking around for the person in question. "I thought she was just frickin' weird." Pepper, autistic? Surely even _I_ couldn't be dense enough to have missed _that_ one, though. I finally spotted her and summoned her to my side with, "Yo, Pep!" As usual she ignored the person standing with me—he hadn't been introduced yet and therefore did not exist, was the nearest I could figure it. Was that an autistic thing? Only one way to find out. "Pepper, are you autistic?"

            "No, I'm from Pennsylvania," she answered promptly.

            "Well, there you go," I told the guy dryly.

            "The car's ready," Pepper informed me, and away we went. I figured I had probably just gotten scratched off the guy's charity invite list, for the 'frickin' weird' remark if nothing else. Which was fine with me, I didn't need _more_ boring social events on my calendar.

            I had to admit I wondered about it a little longer, though. What if Pepper _was_ autistic and didn't want anyone to know? For about half a second I wondered if that meant I couldn't make fun of her anymore, which would be sad. Then I remembered the one episode of _Life Goes On_ I'd seen and realized that if she _was_ autistic, Pepper wouldn't want to be treated differently because of it, and _not_ making fun of her frickin' weirdness _would_ be treating her differently. Which was a big relief to me.

            "Seriously, Pepper, 'I'm from Pennsylvania'?" I said in the car. "What the h—l kind of answer is that?"

            She thought it over for a moment. "Oh. I'm sorry, sir, I misunderstood you." And went back to work.

            But I had to ask again, to be sure one way or the other. "Er, so, _are_ you autistic?"

            "No, sir," she replied. "I don't follow a specific religious tradition, but I enjoy learning about them."

            "Okay, now you're just messing with me," I accused.

            She gave the tiniest hint of a smile as she poked at her phone. "Actually, I don't really vote at all."

            "Stop it!"

            "I enjoy eating meat a lot, in fact."

            "That's it. Call Rhodey. He needs to hear you making fun of people with special needs," I insisted.

            Pepper dialed. "But Major Rhodes has heard me talk about you before, sir."

            You see what I mean? Brutal to me when we were alone. "I _do_ have special needs, Pepper," I agreed, snatching the phone away from her, "and I don't see _you_ doing anything to alleviate them! Rhodey, it's me! Guess what Pepper said _this_ time…"

* * *


End file.
